Waging Battle over the Groceries… ADD Brain vs. OCD Brain

5

June 22, 2012 by Kim


The battle between my OCD Brain and my ADD Brain continues to rage on…

This is really quite unfortunate, for me, because it always occurs inside the comfort of my own head.  All I want is a little bit of peace… but those 2 nit-wits are always up to something.

The task of grocery shopping has always been a dreaded chore.  While most Mommas consider it a blessing, for the rare opportunity to wander the aisles of the grocery store, solo… I can not say that I feel the same.  It doesn’t matter how many physical bodies enter that store with me… it’s always going to be, at the very least, Kim + 2

ADD Brain and OCD Brain have always been kind of clingy… I can’t seem to go anywhere without the both of them tagging along.

…and have I mentioned that they hate each other?

You think your KIDS fight horribly? Try an hour with these 2… in the grocery store

It’s all about survival

My survival.

Their personalities are like night and day… OCD Brain seems somewhat aged… calm and set in her ways.  She prefers a very precise pre-determined order to life… muted sounds… and never-ending familiarity.  ADD Brain is a freaking nut-case. She just wants to go-go-go… Taking a moment, to catch your breath, is a complete waste of time… She has absolutely no inside-voice, thanks in part to the constant sound of angry static storming through her thoughts…

Opposites don’t always attract.

and I have to play the referee… for my brain

Once inside the grocery store, OCD Brain is utterly over-whelmed by a multitude of choices.. and can be found staring intently at each of the prices and attempting to calculate the best deals, without the aid of a calculator…and also without allowing anyone to see me hurriedly counting out the simple math, on my fingers… *shame*  ADD Brain, on the other hand, is spazzing the hell out… The bright colors coming at her from every direction… the eye-numbing fluorescent glow of the over-head lighting…the extra-small boxes, the extra-large economy boxes…

ADD Brain’s only wish is to sprint down the aisles, throwing anything that might be needed towards the cart and get the hell out, ASAP… while good ol’ OCD Brain INSISTS on making sure we’re finding the best deals… while playing a vigorous game of Tetris, with the items that are being carefully placed into the basket.

OMG! NO!!!!
Image Credit: Grocery.com

If OCD Brain and ADD Brain actually had arms and shit… they’d SO be going at it!!!

I’ve somehow always managed to make it out in one piece… but, the fun doesn’t end there…

No…. We still have to get those bags of groceries home, unloaded and put away.

If OCD Brain wasn’t such a bitch about the actual placement of the food that is being put away, I’d probably ask one of the kids to step in and help… But they drive her crazy too

So, it’s up to me…

and, of course, there’s a method which MUST be followed…

All bags of food are brought into the house, de-bagged and placed on the counter in 3 separate categories… refrigerator, freezer and not refrigerator/freezer

Yep… I take the groceries all the way out of the bags, only to sort them, on the counter top… before putting them away.

Long ago my innocent little children would come into the kitchen, mid-sort, and try to earn cool-points by beginning to put some of the groceries away, unprovoked… only to have an unopened box of Wheat Thins thrown at their heads, while I shriek after their retreating bodies about how I’m not done placing all my food into groups yet…. and to leave me ALONNNNNE!

Better a box of Wheat Thins than a gallon of milk, No?

and somehow, in all the madness, everything manages to find its home…

Wanna see an example of the little ways ADD Brain likes to torment OCD Brain?

What’s wrong with this picture???

If OCD Brain isn’t part of your day-to-day life… I’ll give you extra time…

.

Ummm… ADD Brain says your freaking her out and to just GUESS already!  She also screamed the answer and cried a little, but I’m guessing you didn’t notice.

PANIC TIME!!!

Really?  Why the heck is the LARGER box placed on TOP of those 2 SMALLER boxes???  This isn’t how shit is supposed to work!  This is BULLSHIT! CHAOS!!!!

and I’m disgusted by the fact that I’m pretty damned sure I did that…

Why????

and, yes, I’m trying to pretend that I don’t notice the box in question is ALSO upside down…

*twitch*

Wanna see something funny?  Scroll back up to the first picture…

I totally had to move the box to the bottom, before I took that picture…

and let’s continue to pretend that we fail to notice that the box was STILL upside down…

***My high point, during the creation of this post, was the baffled look I got from Hubs, when he walked into the kitchen and saw me strategically taking pictures of our groceries***

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5 thoughts on “Waging Battle over the Groceries… ADD Brain vs. OCD Brain

  1. GingerSnaap says:

    I NOTICED RIGHT AWAY that the box was UPSIDE DOWN and not on the BOTTOM!!!
    OMG!! I SOOOOOOO GET IT!!

    I play Tetris witht he grocery items tooooooo. I HATE HATE HATE when the bagger boy doesn’t bag them correctly or put them back into the cart **correctly**. “Ummm, Maam? Do you want a 2nd cart for all of these groceries?” NO I DON’T WANT A 2ND CART, YOU PANSY ASS IDIOT! i WILL JUST REBAG THEM ALL AND GET THEM ALL BACK INTO THE ONE CART I HAD IT ALL IN, IN THE FIRST DAMN PLACE!!! GAWD!

    Wait, do you put them in the trunk of the car in a certain way as well?? I bet you DOOOOOO!

    I hate the grocery store. Hate.It.Forever.

  2. I noticed that the box was upside down and on top of smaller boxes as well! I coached myself over several months to step back and let Phil do the grocery shopping. We did it together for two years and I tried to show him exactly what I purchased and why (I’ll do the math to find the best deal too) but bringing the kids is so physically exhausting for me that it’s easier to send him with a detailed list. The first couple of shops were disastrous (in my opinion) but I kept my mouth shut for the most part. Oh yeah? THIS, eh? Well, I GUESS that’s okay. After a few subtle and not-so-subtle hints he got the picture. Hahahahaha!

  3. Happy Saturday! I have nominated you for One Lovely Blog Award AND the Beautiful Blogger Award! http://coffeepoweredmom.wordpress.com/2012/06/23/one-lovely-blog-award-and-the-beautiful-blogger-award/

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