June 1, 2012 by Kim
The world is going to be forever changed… and it’s partially due to the fact that I couldn’t figure out how to spell the word “spatula“
You see… my brand new blogging buddy, GingerSnaap, at Oh My Gawd, Just Do What I Say! had written a post that I felt utterly compelled to comment on. The post, entitled A Titillating Tale, detailed her annoyance over a seriously misplaced ironing board. HER seriously misplaced ironing board… to sum up the wrongs created by this action, she says it best….
Lemme give you a little tip- in ADHD world, things cannot be moved to a different spot than their ‘usual’. When you do move something to a different spot than their ‘usual’, an ADHD girl will look directly at it, multiple times, and think to herself “No, that is not the ironing board on the wrong side of the closet. The ironing board is supposed to go behind the door on the right side of the closet, not on the left side of the closet, and, even though I am staring at something that looks/smells/tastes/ and acts like an ironing board, I do not see it. No, that is not the ironing board because it is on the wrong side of the closet. Nope.” -GingerSnaap
That paragraph, alone, nearly suffocated me with its raw truthfulness. I had been there… multiple times. Most recently with my one and ONLY spatula. I hurriedly attempted to leave a comment showing my comprehension of what she had written. There was only one tiny issue… I could NOT, for a multitude of reasons unbeknownst to myself, spell the damned word spatula. Spell-check even refused to assist me, nonchalantly giving me “the finger” and sauntering off… But, maybe it was meant to be.
Another kitchen utensil that the family likes to play “hide from the Crazy-Momma” with is my measuring cup…. and measuring cup found itself to be far more “spell-able” that day… However, deep down I was disappointed that I wasn’t able to share the spatula story.
What took place following the measuring cup comment was nothing short of a miracle…
A hilarious Miracle…
It is a rare occurrence that I find someone who has the same make and model of brain that I do…
Mind you, this test is only for the diagnosis of the 18 and older crowd… as it appears we both have a touch of potty-mouth.
Basically, this is the way the ADD/ADHD Test works…. It’s simple.
If you suspect yourself to possess an ADD/ADHD Brain, all you have to do is read the following conversation…
If you can read the entire conversation, chuckling at times and complete the reading with a smile on your face… You have ADD/ADHD Brain
If you attempt to read the entire conversation, but keep getting lost and having to scan back… find yourself mumbling “what the f@ck?” a minimum of 3 times and fail to allow anything resembling a laugh to leave your body… You do NOT have ADD/ADHD Brain
If you clobber your screen while screamibng that these 2 bitches are stupid as all Hell… You have no sense of humor and you should go away. Soon.
Ready for the conversation? I bet you are… Please keep in mind that the copy/paste actions required to create this ADD/ADHD Test took at least 30 minutes, with full-on McDonald’s coffee shakes… You’re Welcome.
and….. pencils down. I don’t even know why you were holding a pencil. I didn’t tell you a pencil was required… Maybe the possibility of ADD/ADHD is the least of your worries… You pencil-coveting freak.
So… how’d you do?
Don’t worry about your co-pay and feel free to post your diagnosis below, in the comments… Unless you were determined to be “unfunny” Then you can just go away… and don’t be clicking on my damned stars up there, screwing up my “score” … just go.
*and make sure you go check out GingerSnaap’s blog… Here’s the link, just in case you missed it up top… Oh My Gawd, Just Do What I Say! But don’t be going over there trying to push me out of her heart… she’s mine, and I will cut a bitch
- Spousal Differences in Those With ADD/ADHD, How I Make it Work. (defeatingthedeficit.wordpress.com)
- Not Just For Kids: Author Stacey Turis Gets Real About Adult ADHD (blisstree.com)
- Myths About ADHD (focusedonadhd.wordpress.com)