I’m Officially Part of the iPhone Cult Now…


May 30, 2012 by Kim

If you randomly grabbed 5 of my closest friends and asked them to make a list, detailing a few of my most redeeming traits, two very distinct things would happen…

First, they would beat your ass to a pulp.  You should never just randomly come up and grab people… especially if you’re a stranger.

Stranger Danger…

Second, as you scan over all the provided scrawlings, you would notice that the word “patience” is not listed anywhere… in any form

Not “patient”

Not “patience”

None of that

I have, in fact, been impatient for as long as I can remember…

Case in point.  I have given birth to 4 children… All 4 of them were delivered 2 weeks early.  Coincidence? I think not…  I subliminally requested all 4 of them to “follow the light” 14 days early… 40 weeks of pregnancy? Yeah, whatever… 38 is my limit

I have gotten a little bit better as I’ve aged… but not to where I could refer to myself as “patient”  The way I look at it my own personal level of impatience has placed me far into the negatives, on the patience scale… So, there is no “Oh, I was able to wait, the entire 75 minutes, for the kid’s late field trip bus, without mentally or verbally cussing the bus driver… the teacher… my own child… my husband… or the perky chaperones” claim to patience.  That small incidence, alone, would merely take me from a -183 to a -182.5 (still impatient as all hell)

Yesterday, I had a little situation that really placed me on edge.

After years of crabbily waiting for my current cell phone contract to be up, the time was finally here.  I had been standing in the brisk shadows of all my iPhone/smart phone carrying friends for too long.  Do you know what it’s like to be the only person in a group of 15+ without a “smart” phone?  While they were all trolling Facebook, taking pictures and playing the latest Word game… I would just sit there, obviously on a much lower level, absently sliding the keyboard of my beat up Rumor Touch in and out… while staring at a wall.

But now, my time was finally here!  It was going to be my turn to phase reality completely out of my life!  I couldn’t wait to go out one night with all my friends… and check Facebook, Pin stuff and check my blog stats…  It was going to be superb!

The only problem was that I had a 4-business-day wait, until the phone would actually in my hands.

Tuesday, by 4:30PM, was my reported delivery time.  There was even a note, in fine print, that my parcel would probably not be delivered until closer to the 4:30PM section of that date.  I was cool with that.

This knowledge didn’t stop me, however, from checking the doorway at least 17 times, during the day, though… and also once or twice on Friday and Saturday too…

As the clock flickered to 4:17PM, on Tuesday I began to feel the agitation rising…. Where the hell was my phone?!?  I rampaged briefly on Facebook and Twitter about my dilemma…

Apparently, the UPS Driver was paying me no mind…. as my phone didn’t arrive until 4:47PM

and then was born a brand new set of problems…

It took me a good 2 hours to finally summon the courage to power the damned thing on.  I honestly felt fear, in the iPhones presence…

 I was sure that if I even glanced at the phone “wrong” the screen would shatter…

What can I say?  Impatience at it’s best…


10 thoughts on “I’m Officially Part of the iPhone Cult Now…

  1. GingerSnaap says:

    Oh! I’d cut a bitch that was holding my iPhone hostage, yo!

    • Kim says:

      …and then you could use your shank to cut open the package! ORRRR you could try to “work smarter, not harder” by using 1 slice to both “cut a bitch” AND open the package!!!

  2. hiyacynthia says:

    Funny! I don’t have one yet. It’s the monthly package rate that holds me up ’cause you know, if I get one, my husband will think he has to have one and my kids will think they have to have one and our cell bill will be $200 a month. Cannot do!

  3. […] I’m Officially Part of the iPhone Cult Now… (kimberliah.com) […]

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