March 28, 2012 by Kim
Urban Dictionary describes the phrase “Walk of Shame” as the following…
Kimberliah describes the phrase “Walk of Shame.2” as the following…
“When a woman leaves the tanning salon after a 12 minute tanning session; hair randomly sticking to her face and pulled up into a half-ass bun/ponytail, makeup dripping down her neck with her socks buried in her pockets or purse.”
I have been there a time or two, myself.
I absolutely dread opening that door afterwards…. exposing my disheveled sweaty self to all the perky little girls, still waiting to tan
and you can feel them all staring at you
All. Of. Them.
Multiple sets of eyes burning into your already seared skin
and you refuse to make eye contact… you’ve made that mistake before
They don’t smile back… they just stare
Silently gauging through your temporary red-ness if you might, by chance, be darker than them
You’re only mission at this point is to successfully drop your sweat towel INSIDE the clothes bin
*behind, to the left, to the right or in a decorative vase will not work*
….find your way to the front door, while maintaining NO eye contact and place yourself inside a car that actually belongs to you.
I’ve recently noticed that the 10-15 minutes following a tanning session kind of feels like being inebriated
Wow…that was pretty lame, but I’m going to leave it there, just so all of you have to read that lame attempt at “Oh, look I created a word!!!”
So, yeah.. the aftermath of tanning makes me feel like I’m 14 again with my very own newly-empty bottle of Boones Farm
… except, with a driver’s license
and, yes, I have sat in the parking lot of the tanning salon… waiting for my Tan-buzz to wear off
Cause I’m responsible like that…