What Happens in Snooki….


February 29, 2012 by Kim

I’m going to be brutally honest with you about something…

Hearing that Snooki, from Jersey Shore, may possibly be pregnant… kind of makes me feel… itchy

I discovered that Ms. Polizzi might be “with child” earlier today, while at work

Photo Credit: mtv.com

I remember it just like it was yesterday… except it wasn’t… it was today

and that kind of complicates things

not all things…. just some things

So, there I was… in my cube, mindlessly scrolling down Facebook’s timeline

BEGIN DISCLAIMER****during our union sanctioned break time****END DISCLAIMER

a friend of a friend of a friend had posted an article which declared Snooki’s previous untruth…. regarding the (alleged)truth

After some hard-core fact-checking around the most reliable gossip sites on the internet, I deemed the rumor to possibly be true…


Following my semi-enlightenment, I spun around in my chair and delivered the news to DT.

I’m not sure of which I should feel the most shame over…

The fact that I will probably forever be able to answer… in vivid detail, the “Do you remember where you were?” question, as it pertains to the foreshadowing of Snooki’s possible big news.

Or the fact that DT and I continued on to have a full-blown “the more you know” type conversation..over the next 25 minutes…. complete with genuineness sadness, confusion and a host of other valid unprocessed emotions.  The conversation unwillingly ended when a huge eavesdropping yellow star sporting a rainbow tail zoomed over our heads…

Photo Credit: Sharenator.com

UGH!  I hate when that happens…. You ruin all the good conversations, you damned star!!!

So, assuming these stories are truth-based…. I have prepared the following questions… to completely ponder to ponderings full extent.

No half-ass ponderings around here…

Question #1:  What the Hell????

Question #2:  Is it possible for the baby to be Snooki-sized, at birth?

Question #3:  Will infant spray-tanning sessions be listed on the baby registry?

Question #3a: Is there a fool-proof way to guarantee that the before-mentioned spray tanning sessions are exclusively used on the baby and NOT Snooki?

Question #4: Will Snooki and the baby still be given the opportunity to be a part of the shore house and Jersey Shore?

Question #4a: Will the baby be forced to share a room with Sam, Ronnie and the Snitchuation?

Question #5: First onesie from the Shore Store…. what will it say?

Photo Credit: shorestore.com

Question #6: What kind of preparations and precautions are Karma undergoing for the possible event of labor/delivery on the dance floor?

Question #7: How many hours old will the baby be when it is first made to “fist-pump”

Question #8:  Beat that beat or walking… which will come first?

Question #9: How many times will Snooki attempt to have Lola babysit?

Photo Credit: thehollywoodgossip.com

Question #9a: How many times will Lola actually baby-sit?

Question #9b: How many times will the MTV crew actually stand idly by and allow Lola to baby-sit?

Question #10: Italian name or Chilean name?

Towards the very end of the conversation between DT and I, regarding the possible Snook-fetus… DT had a revelation

“What if Jionni isn’t the dad… and MIKE is???”

I had to gently take DT aside and explain to her how babys are actually made

and also how they’re NOT made…


2 thoughts on “What Happens in Snooki….

  1. I fear this could be the end of Jersey Shore since drunk Snooki provided about 50% of the material.

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