Cubemania… Part 1


February 8, 2012 by Kim

I,  like bazillions of other Americans, currently spend 40+ hours, every week, lost inside a cubicle

It’s your standard, government issued, model

No perks… no thrills

No “5 dollar make you holler”

Just some lightly stained beige walls and wrinkly death-trap carpet

Kind of like this…

only about 100 times LESS interesting…

No, seriously… I would be stoked to work in THAT cubicle

I’d probably pee myself a little.

No lie.

I’m old… we do shit like that

The first issue with my cube?  I have no desk.

I have a long… something or another that runs across the full length of one of my walls.  I suspect it may have been some shelving in its previous life.

Lucky for me, this was attached to my cube wall, at just the right height, to double as counter space

and also lucky for me, I have managed to fit everything that would usually occupy a desk top onto this… counter space

My computer screen is perched at a strange angle and is practically balanced on top of my keyboard and calculator

My desk phone is placed about 3/4 of an inch too far for me to just be able to reach over and answerit … or hang it up.  I guess, in this case, I should at least be grateful that my chair has all of its wheels… for now

My coffee mug full of pens, pencils and highlighters is so overstuffed that if I try to extract just one, they all come shooting out… That’s really no fault of the cube, though… When my Mom recently retired she strategically brought over, piece by piece, every single supply item that she had stockpiled  in her almost 20 years of employment. My drawers and cabinets over-floweth… I’m currently waiting to be reported to that Hoarders show… the office edition.  I could have thrown it away, or redistributed it all… but I opted to keep it… because it was her little straight-laced way of sticking it to “The Man”  She’s still got that hippy blood running through her, somewhere…

For the most part, I have come to terms with the Cube…

I try not to bother it… and it tries not to fall in on me

A few months ago, my work bestie/spouse, DT and I were discussing the loneliness that can overcome you within the Cube walls

I mean sure, you can mindlessly talk back and forth… but, without that face to face interaction… it starts to lose its realness

and one day you snap out of your trance and realize that you’ve really only been talking to yourself… for the last 3 weeks

…and you’re not even AT work anymore, even though you really don’t remember leaving…

…you’re sitting on the bench, outside the Wal-Mart pharmacy, talking to the reading glasses display

and all you can do is hope that you were talking to the mirror that they have displayed and NOT the actual glasses… because that would just be weird

So DT and I began to plot… We could not let these walls break us!

We would overcome the evil that is… the office

A plan unfurled that day

a great plan

A plan to ridicule all other plans.

The Plan.

…. a plan that I honestly thought would never come to life, simply because it wasn’t going to be easy

and sometimes we can be a wee bit lazy…

and it involved manual labor.

We quickly pulled Ti into our meeting of the minds, under the premise that we needed his brain…. while in reality we just needed him to move the heavy stuff…. and move the heavy stuff he did

DT and I like to call the new combo-cube “Our apartment”

in case you can’t decipher what is going on up there… Ti took down a wall and merged our cubes into a rectangle

Life has been grand ever since.

Sometimes, when I’m starting to get that old “I’m turning into a machine” feeling… I’ll spin around and glance at DT…. who is feverishly working away…. at Facebook

It’s a mere moment, caught in time…

It brings the life back into my pulse…


3 thoughts on “Cubemania… Part 1

  1. kpchicken says:

    I live for the day that you post an update to this post where you come back to work from a long weekend to discover the wheels have been stolen from your chair which is now being held up but little tiny cinder blocks.

  2. Spectra says:

    You better sneak up on your cell mate and check what’s being written on FaceBook – could be about you, now that DT has a clearer view of your every move.

  3. Best blog post about cubism that I’ve read yet, and Picasso would be impressed! No, this is not spam, it’s Chris Sheridan and I’m here to say that I like your post, and congrats on converting your solitary cube into a much more social and cheerful rectangle!

    And thanks so much for following my blog “Word Play – A Place For Pleasurable Procrastination”. I’m looking forward to checking out more your blog as well. 🙂

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