February 8, 2012 by Kim
I, like bazillions of other Americans, currently spend 40+ hours, every week, lost inside a cubicle
It’s your standard, government issued, model
No perks… no thrills
No “5 dollar make you holler”
Just some lightly stained beige walls and wrinkly death-trap carpet
Kind of like this…
only about 100 times LESS interesting…
No, seriously… I would be stoked to work in THAT cubicle
I’d probably pee myself a little.
I’m old… we do shit like that
The first issue with my cube? I have no desk.
I have a long… something or another that runs across the full length of one of my walls. I suspect it may have been some shelving in its previous life.
Lucky for me, this was attached to my cube wall, at just the right height, to double as counter space
and also lucky for me, I have managed to fit everything that would usually occupy a desk top onto this… counter space
My computer screen is perched at a strange angle and is practically balanced on top of my keyboard and calculator
My desk phone is placed about 3/4 of an inch too far for me to just be able to reach over and answerit … or hang it up. I guess, in this case, I should at least be grateful that my chair has all of its wheels… for now
My coffee mug full of pens, pencils and highlighters is so overstuffed that if I try to extract just one, they all come shooting out… That’s really no fault of the cube, though… When my Mom recently retired she strategically brought over, piece by piece, every single supply item that she had stockpiled in her almost 20 years of employment. My drawers and cabinets over-floweth… I’m currently waiting to be reported to that Hoarders show… the office edition. I could have thrown it away, or redistributed it all… but I opted to keep it… because it was her little straight-laced way of sticking it to “The Man” She’s still got that hippy blood running through her, somewhere…
For the most part, I have come to terms with the Cube…
I try not to bother it… and it tries not to fall in on me
A few months ago, my work bestie/spouse, DT and I were discussing the loneliness that can overcome you within the Cube walls
I mean sure, you can mindlessly talk back and forth… but, without that face to face interaction… it starts to lose its realness
and one day you snap out of your trance and realize that you’ve really only been talking to yourself… for the last 3 weeks
…and you’re not even AT work anymore, even though you really don’t remember leaving…
…you’re sitting on the bench, outside the Wal-Mart pharmacy, talking to the reading glasses display
and all you can do is hope that you were talking to the mirror that they have displayed and NOT the actual glasses… because that would just be weird
So DT and I began to plot… We could not let these walls break us!
We would overcome the evil that is… the office
A plan unfurled that day
a great plan
A plan to ridicule all other plans.
…. a plan that I honestly thought would never come to life, simply because it wasn’t going to be easy
and sometimes we can be a wee bit lazy…
and it involved manual labor.
We quickly pulled Ti into our meeting of the minds, under the premise that we needed his brain…. while in reality we just needed him to move the heavy stuff…. and move the heavy stuff he did
DT and I like to call the new combo-cube “Our apartment”
in case you can’t decipher what is going on up there… Ti took down a wall and merged our cubes into a rectangle
Life has been grand ever since.
Sometimes, when I’m starting to get that old “I’m turning into a machine” feeling… I’ll spin around and glance at DT…. who is feverishly working away…. at Facebook
It’s a mere moment, caught in time…
It brings the life back into my pulse…