I’m sorry, so sorry…


January 16, 2012 by Kim

There must have been something in the air, last night…

which leads me to the following,

Post-Pub apologies…


First off I would like to apologize for the simple fact that I was actually SOBER for 99.9% of the following situations…

Moving on….

Dear Friend whom I have recently harassed via this blog…  I am sorry that I spent half the night trying to insist to you and surrounding others that it was indeed your birthday.    Facebook told me it was… but I realized that it may have been the previous day, when I saw the alert…  Happy Day After Your Birthday!

Dear…. same dude: I am sorry that I called you an idiotic moron when you thought Odette Yustman, from The Unborn, was Megan Fox…

and I’m also sorry for my gross overuse of the word “ominous” while watching the muted previously mentioned movie, ominous wind chime, ominous creepy old man, ominous dog with its head upside down…. we get it… it’s a scary movie

Dear Hubs: I’m kind of sorry for wanting to push you off your bar stool and kick the shit out of you following your several LOUD lewd comments regarding Megan Fox…

Dear slightly obese half-dressed old man, sitting at a computer at the hotel next door: I’m sorry that you felt the need to close your curtains and shut your patio door, after we loudly speculated that you were probably looking at porn…. let’s face it, though… You probably were and you really shouldn’t give that much of a free show when there’s a bar, right up the hill, next door…

Dear idiot friend who thought Odette Yustman, from The Unborn, was Megan Fox: I’m sorry for creating and then joyfully declaring the pirate pronunciation of your name…. repeatedly.

***side-note*** I am also going to apologize, in advance, for my freshly hatched plan to get our entire place of employment to refer to you as your pirate moniker.  Arghhhhhhhh

Dear…. Bar:  I am sorry for loudly attempting to “sing” Sugerland’s Stay….  twice.  Maybe I should have taken the hint the first time the song shut off in the middle.

Dear ATC: I am sorry that my heel kept getting in the way of your size 26 foot…. and yes, that was my foot that you kept demolishing… not the bar stool

Dear stomach:  I’m sorry I gave in and took that shot after saying no…. twice?

Dear Pirate-inspired named friend:  I’m sorry that I didn’t punch you in the face when you told Hubs that you were going to bounce a potato chip off of my forehead, for him to catch in his mouth…

Dear Hubs:  Same apology, for you standing behind me with your mouth wide open… waiting for the chip to ricochet off my ninehead.

Dear guy from Alaska:  I’m sorry for calling you The Crocodile Hunter of Alaska, while you were trying to tell us about some kind of “wild” pet you had…

Dear Hubs:  I am sorry for rapping Warren G’s Regulate, in your ear… in its entirety

….and last but CERTAINLY not least

Dear YoYoChampionCurrentlyworkinginahotelfriend:   I am sorry for prank calling you at the front desk and stating that I was Jenna Jameson’s manager…. I am sorry for telling you that due to automotive issues we were going to have to make an unexpected stop at your hotel… I’m sorry for requesting that all security cameras be turned off and inquiring about available security for my client… I am sorry for using the word paparazzi… I am sorry for asking about your guidelines regarding animals…. and more than anything, out of the entire night, I am sorry that I couldn’t choke back the laughter when I was attempting to ask if you would have reasonable accommodations for her donkey.


4 thoughts on “I’m sorry, so sorry…

  1. Man, I miss having a life!!

  2. I only get one apology? I had to listen to Sugarland and your rapping, too…. The Donkey thing was pretty lame…

  3. The Hook says:

    At least you’ve said sorry…

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