Tooth Fairy Truths…

3

December 21, 2011 by Kim


My 6-year-old, Dickie, has officially lost his second tooth.

Last night, Hubs wrestled him to the floor and proceeded to wiggle the offending tooth for about 73 minutes.

The tooth definitely belonged to Dickie.  That thing was stubborn as a mule!

It was one of those super annoying teeth, the ones that seem to hang on by a thread…

Hubs even swore, at one point, that the tooth morphed into Nelson, from The Simpsons and laughed that infamous laugh at him

As I sat on Facebook, glaring at Bubble Witch Saga… or whatever the hell that stupid game is called that won’t let me pass to the 27th level because no one else on the planet plays that stupid game and I can’t get 3 people to send me Mist o’ the Wizard or whatever the hell it’s called to go on to the next level…because NO ONE ELSE PLAYS IT!!!!

whoa…. where was I?

*scrolls up*

Oh, the bastard-tooth

So, as I’m glaring at the game whose name shall not be mentioned THAT NO ONE ELSE ON EARTH IS WASTING THEIR TIME PLAYING AND I KNOW THAT NOBODY IS PLAYING BECAUSE I CAN’T GET ONE DAMNED PERSON TO SEND ME ANY MIST O’ THE FREAKING WIZARD AND TO BE HONEST I JUST WANT TO TRY LEVEL 27….. JUST ONCE..BUT APPARENTLY IT’S A LAME ASS GAME THAT NO ONE IS EVER GOING TO PLAY….EVER…. ummmm

So, I’m glaring at Facebook… and from the living room I hear Hubs promising Dickie the moon and a dollar and an Ice-ee, if he’ll only allow for the completed removal of that one rogue tooth.

Dickie’s down with it.  He knows a good deal when he hears it.  Momma didn’t raise no fool

So as the wiggling and the twisting and the blind promises continue…. my mind begins to wander

I wonder what would happen if somehow, through the stages of growing up, a person was never informed of the “reality” regarding the Tooth Fairy, Easter Bunny, Santa Claus and such…

and then what if that same person became a parent…. and then I guess to make this situation “do-able” occurences happened in life which made this person into a single parent…

what’s that?

You want to know what happened to the absent parent?

Geez… this isn’t story hour, kiddos!

Let’s just say…. the other parent went crazy upon denial of level 27 on a certain Facebook game and was committed.

Crazy Train

so, yeah…. Here’s the scenario

Single parent… raising a child….

child loses a tooth… parent still believes in the Tooth fairy

How would that next morning play out?

I wonder how many times the parent would leave that tooth under the child’s pillow before finally deciding that the Tooth Fairy must have gone into retirement…

I wonder if one day the child would come home from school and gently sit the parent down and inform them that they needed to have a talk.

Would the parent cry?

I can still remember the exact moment when I found out about Santa Claus

I was in 3rd grade, in Utah.  My classmates and I were all gathered around our teacher for some kind of story time.  I was a week before Christmas break.

For some unknown reason, in preparing us for our Christmas tale, the teacher chuckled and questioned whether we all knew that Santa wasn’t real…

My bottom lip dropped onto my indian-crossed legs beneath me while 28 other little heads nodded “yes” and twinkling laughter swelled through the air.

Their laughter dove down my throat, like demons shrieking and stabbing at my heart.

It was at that exact moment when I felt the innocence of childhood dissolve.

I can still remember that night, the hot angry tears streaming down my face…. screaming at my Mom to just “TELL ME THE TRUTH”

I don’t believe she was able to push those words out of her mouth…

I was left with “what do you want to believe”

That is the first time I ever remember feeling angry.

Real anger

Unfortunately, I was angry with my Mom…when I now realize my ill feelings should have been pointed towards that inconsiderate teacher…

So, ummm… Mom, sorry for yelling at you and stuff….

and if you wouldn’t mind could you please play the Bubble Witch Saga game thing and send me some stupid Wizard Mist so I can go kick level 27’s ass?

and as a sidenote…. Dickie’s tooth finally released itself

while he slept last night

and he swallowed it

I informed him this afternoon that we would leave a note for the Tooth Fairy, informing her of his situation and that she would still leave him some money

and I am just now kicking myself as I realize that it would have been WAY FUNNIER if we had told him that she was going to have to go in after the swallowed tooth, while he slept, tonight.

Come to think of it, he’s still awake………….

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3 thoughts on “Tooth Fairy Truths…

  1. Chas Rairden says:

    You ain’t right…You know that though…Right?

  2. I hate to break this to you like this… but you know that most of the stuff you see on tv is fake, right?

  3. Page says:

    Loads of excellent writing here. I wish I saw it found the site sooner. Congrats!

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