Do you kiss your mother with that mouth…


October 15, 2011 by Kim

I have never been one to question Dickie’s devotion to his Dad.

As I have written before, in Dickie’s eyes, Hubs can do no wrong.

The damned kid practically thanks him after he gets a spanking.

….and yes, we spank. Don’t hate or we’ll come whoop your ass too


Hubs has been the apple of Dickie’s eye, since our first night home from the hospital.

The admiration would have begun one day sooner, however the hospital where he was delivered wouldn’t allow Hubs to stay overnight….so for a few glorious hours, I was “The Man”

…and then we came home

Now, this pedestal upon which Hubs has been placed, was no accident.

No accident, at all.

It was the direct result of a very well thought out plan that was executed to perfection.


Good game, Hubs… Good game

I have lived amid this unfairness for the last 6… almost 7 years

When Hubs isn’t around, Dickie will turn his adoration towards me.  He will declare me to be his Best Friend… and in Dickie’s world that is one of the highest honors that he can bestow upon you.

and it feels good.

Damned Good.

that is, until he pulls me close and whispers in my ear…

“You not tell me Dad, ok?”

and I have to agree to not tell… and vow secrecy for all eternity.

If I don’t make this promise, I am instantly left with a child, running down the hallway… shrieking


I promise, he loves me.

A little bit.

But, every once in a while a get a little bit of revenge

and Dickie will turn on Hubs… for a maximum of 3-5 minutes.

Those are my favorite times of the entire day.

Last week, Dickie accompanied Hubs to the races.

They’re like peas in a pod… no joke

As they returned from their pit, Hubs walked up to me dumbfounded.

It was at that exact moment when I heard the worst/best story of my life

Long story short….

Hubs dared piss off Sir Dickie

and Dickie yelled back


…excuse my son’s french

As horrible as this occurrence was, I couldn’t help but crack a smile.

and now when I see Dickie and Hubs, all hanging out in their pea pod and shit…

I just close my eyes and take myself back to that moment

…and I grin


4 thoughts on “Do you kiss your mother with that mouth…

  1. Nice ink. The old man’s loaded down with it, so I appreciate a fellow brethran of art.
    I beat my kids’ asses too when they were young. (Of course you can’t say that or people will take it L-I-T-E-R-A-L-L-Y now.) I made no excuses for it then, and still don’t. It was a good thing I did too, or my kids could’ve turned out far worse than they did. (Bad breeding. Paternal side, not mine…I swear!) Never hurt them a bit, and today I can proudly say not a one of them ever had the balls to call me a bitch to my face, or raise a hand to strike me like I’ve seen many other mothers have to deal with. ‘Mama don’t play that game’. Potty mouth…it comes with the territory. My youngest son was TERRIBLE when he was young. Blame it on the sitter. Works like a charm.
    And I know you’re joking for the most part about envying the closeness the two of them have, but let me just say anyway….thank your lucky stars he’s in your sons life, and better yet, also yours. Nowadays it’s almost unheard of.

  2. Chas Rairden says:

    Let me get this straight… Dickie told his Dad to… Fuck Off????? HA ha… HAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAa.! I feel for you guys!… Pay back Time… HAHAHHAHAA… I love that Kid!
    Granddad Rairden

  3. Blogdramedy says:

    Ah, yes. The FU phase. I remember it well and thankful every day that is has shifted to Friend U on whatever social media my now grown child is into this year. 🙂

  4. The Hook says:

    You grin – and after I read this, I smile!

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