He’s gonna eat everything…


August 6, 2011 by Kim

The Beast has been laying pretty low lately.  I’ve caught him a time or two running laps throughout the house with a single sock hanging from his mouth, but that’s been the worst of it.

Silly me

Seems The Beast may have merely been in training.

Once upon a time there was a blue plastic Spider Monkey toy that resided in our home…

Dickie, as you can see, was pretty tight with ol’ Spider Monkey.  They were homies.

*sidenote, I’m beginning to suspect that Dickie may actually be Tyra Bank’s albino son…. Hello, 7.5-head*

Dickie coveted dear Spider Monkey from the day he first laid eyes on him and Spider Monkey found Dickie’s dome an easy way to get from Point A to Point B.  It was quite the beautiful friendship.

One afternoon, last week, I came home to 3 very sad faces.

“Beast ate Spider Monkey” was all they had to say.

I sighed and inquired what had been left of our little buddy.

“Nothing” Anthony whispered…


Wow…. The Beast has apparently leveled-up.

This morning, The Beast terrified the toy community of our house once again…

I guess he realized that leaving the morbid remains, for us to find, is far more satisfying.


Sorry, Trunks… Maybe if you were full blooded Saiyan you could have defeated The Beast…

Wait!!!! Where the hell are his feet?!?!   *sigh*

That’s right, Beast!  Look away!   Feel shamed!

He honestly stood like that for about 3 minutes…. I figure he’s either horrified by his monstrous actions… or he’s spotted his next chew toy.


9 thoughts on “He’s gonna eat everything…

  1. Spectra says:

    He looks guilty. Very guilty. They always know when they done you wrong.

  2. Kim says:

    …and of course I was being all mature about it and mocking him from behind the camera “Yeah… that’s right… look away asshole!” LOL

  3. The Hook says:

    Good luck taming that beast!

  4. Miss Marblemouth says:

    He’ll need bangs. Except bangs look ridiculous on men. Never fear. He’s got plenty of growing to do. He’s cute as a button just as he is. And actually, one of my cubicle coworkers was just telling me about how Prime Ministers always have big foreheads, so in fact, he may have a fantastic career ahead of him.

  5. It’s like watching the movie Mimic unfold, with all of the decapitation going on.


    And giving extra reinforcement to my “No dog” policy.

  6. […] course, he couldn’t completely abandon The Action Figure Massacre of 2012  cold […]

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