This post is NOT about Justin Bieber…

19

July 27, 2011 by Kim


It seems that a vast majority of my site’s hits, the last few days, are coming from 2 simple words.

Justin

Bieber

Those poor JB seekers are probably deeply saddened when they click on their requested picture of “Justin Bieber with cool sunglasses”  and end up with me.

*waves*

Hi!  I’m Kim.

But, anyway…. enough about Justin Bieber…. I mean, it’s not like I would INTENTIONALLY continue to use his name… Justin Bieber, JUST to get hits to my page.

and I would never EVER post pictures of the little mini-heartthrob,   just to raise my numbers… Justin Bieber, in case you had forgotten what we were discussing.

Oh, wow… where did THAT come from…

Hello there, Justin Bieber. You’re looking extra Justin Bieber-y today

….

  Wednesday is always an extra busy day of the week, for my section… reports are due, gossip is at its peak and weekend hangovers are finally beginning to fade.  I noticed something, during the frenzied bustle of today’s activities…

Activiaaaaaaa…  No, damn it.

Activities.  *sigh*

Anyways.  As I was rounding a corner, in a mad sprint for the network printer… my hip clipped a bookshelf.  This has happened to me many a time before.  Too many times to count.

Possibly daily.

I have hips. I have possessed hips since the birth of my first child… almost 16 years ago.  I have had approximately 192 months to get used to my widened dimensions.  Yet I always manage to “clip the hip” on something.  It doesn’t even really faze me anymore…  It may throw me off course for about 3 seconds, but I quickly recover and continue on my path.  I suspect my friends may have turned it into a drinking game…

I may stumble, but I will not fall!

….

Once again, I come bearing tales of Project Manager T.

He said that every time he perturbs me I can add another letter to his name…

So lets call him Ti.

*glare*

So Ti thought that it would be humorous to rig up the cabinet in my cubicle to explode the pressed out paper circles from the hole punch at me.

Is there a name for those things?

Google says they’re called “chads” which is humorous in its own way… but I’m going to stick to calling it confetti.

After a few hours passed with me failing to open the cabinet, Ti had a hissy fit, came barreling into my cubicle, shrieking, and flung open the cabinet above my head.

*confetti*

Apparently I screamed.

I think I blacked out…. I don’t remember screaming and if I did I probably wouldn’t admit it.

So, I did not scream.

Got it???   Did I scream?   No.

Thanks.

At some point, in the afternoon, all of the confetti was transferred to the floor, chair and keyboard of Ti’s cube.

ATC suggested that I wrap my hand in tape to pick up the tiny white circles…

I grumpily declared that I would wrap up his head in tape and make him roll around on the floor to collect the mess.

I have to admit, though… the tape was a good idea.  The confetti came up fairly easily and now I’m sitting here giving dirty looks to my 2 million dollar Kirby.

If they knock… play dead.

Trust me.

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19 thoughts on “This post is NOT about Justin Bieber…

  1. Spectra says:

    Perfect! Your office day reminds me of one fun office I worked in. Practical jokes broke up the methodical monotany, and were much appreciated. I do not recall using paper-punch confetti abusively, however, we did hide the 3-Hole punch on many occassions, and I traded favors for it’s release. I am like that. Whatever it takes to gain negotioating powers. Makes me almost miss work. Naaah. I like staying home and sleeping in every day! PLLLLLLLlphllll!

  2. Krystal says:

    hahaha yup chads. And I was pretty much at my desk all day and I heard no screams. Unlike your cubie neighbor who screamed when a bug was on her chair a week or so back. lol




    justin bieber.

  3. JM Randolph says:

    Tape is good for lotsa stuff. At my hotel room in Tucson, I called the front desk because I found a scorpion. They sent up a maintenance guy with a wad of duct tape. It totally worked.

    • You know what is awesome about scorpions? If you put them in a ring of fire, they try to find a way out. If they can’t find, they stab themselves in the head until they die. I found out last year that this is totally true.

  4. Shit, if I knew it was that easy I’d have started dropping famous names! Damn…. Ha..ha..

  5. Miss Marblemouth says:

    The weirdest things come up in my searches too that make me wonder what the hell I’m writing about. Most recently David Lascher wet. Now, I know I wrote about Hey Dude Ted but NEVER was he wet. Oh well.

  6. Genghis Ron says:

    Mmm, I love it when my manager dumps a bunch of crap all over my desk and then says “just kidding” and then I have to clean it up.

  7. Kim says:

    …at least he went and got me the vaccuum? haha

  8. The Hook says:

    My eyes are burning from reading this post,! No offense, but Bieber is the Devil!

  9. teresa bieber :D says:

    i only clicked this to see the bieber part ❤ 😛 hehe
    btw i read the comments THEN the rest of ur story, but no offence i didnt really get wat this was supposed to be? :s soz but yeaa

  10. teresa bieber :D says:

    LOL oh well…. cbf explainning 😛

  11. powachair2 says:

    Thanks for the visit.

  12. curm says:

    I will not mention Justin Bieber so that you will not be inundated with hits. Honest, I will not mention Justin Bieber. Thanks for dropping by.

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