July 25, 2011 by Kim
Oh, my dearest Monday… How I do hate thee…
Let me count the ways…
Monday, I hate to tell you but you have a seriously bad reputation… People know about you…. and they talk. Word on the streets is that you suck.
Bad Monday Karma caused me to hit the “Off” button instead of the “Snooze” button on my alarm…
any other day I may have appreciated the extra 30 minutes of sleep, but not when I needed to get my butt up and ready for work. I hate feeling rushed because that usually results in sacrifices having to be made… Today I had opt out on my liquid eyeliner. Thanks, Monday…. Thanks a bunch.
I made the mistake, early on, of thinking that I got one over on Ol’ Monday… I managed to get ready with plenty of time to get to work. While I was contemplating moving my wake-up time to 5:30AM permanently, I heard Hubs yell from the kitchen… inquiring on where my car keys were… Monday, I have to admit that I didn’t realize you were behind this little prank until 15 minutes had passed. Yes, I lose my keys…. a lot. However, they usually turn up within 5 minutes. Something was odd. I began to feel panic bubbling up in my stomach as all of the usual places turned up empty. As I was begrudgingly emptying the contents of the kitchen trashcan into a separate trash bag, piece by piece, Hubs opened a random drawer.
Silly Keys. Silly Monday
So, I made it to work… a bit late, but I made it… As I trudged up the stairs to my cubicle, I saw a sight that sent a chill down my spin. The door was open.
The door is never open… Never open, that is, unless the air conditioning has gone out. Entering our floor was like walking into a sauna. My eyeballs were perspiring within 3 minutes of sitting at my desk. I had several phone conversations that I have little to no recollection of. Monday, you were really going hard today.
Around lunch time the air managed to get fixed… although everyone knew that we probably wouldn’t feel much of a difference until tomorrow. Blessed Tuesday.
I’ll spare you the details of my burnt Lean Pocket… It was destined for greatness, until it decided to tango with Monday… RIP cheddar broccoli Lean Pocket. We could have been good together.
So, after all that misery, things HAVE to start looking up, right?
Even my popcorn bag is against me… I noticed during my afternoon break that I had apparently been eating my popcorn incorrectly for decades. How could I have missed, as it states clearly on the instruction, that you are supposed to pour your popcorn “into a bowl”
Way to be closed-minded Popcorn Bag.
So, now I have managed to make it home…. hopefully the Monday torments are over for this week….