The Beast Gets His…


July 19, 2011 by Kim

Turns out The Beast is indeed a mere mortal.

He hurt himself the other day…

Perhaps it happened during his Death Match with Granny

Anywho… the Big Bad Beast has an owie.

I took pity on him late Saturday morning after I noticed his limping was getting a bit more exaggerated.  His toenail was cracked and according to Google, I should really get this looked at before it got infected, or his paw fell off, or he turned into a zombiedog.

So I called the local vet and arranged to bring Beast in.

Unfortunately, there was only an hour left in their day, so I had to hurry…

I lured The Beast into the backseat of my car… grabbed his leash, a couple of bottles of water and my heaviest (strongest) kid… we were off.

10 minutes later I pulled into the dusty parking lot in front of the Vet’s office.  I realized that this wasn’t going to be an easy task, getting Beast out of the car and into the office… I thought up a game plan… informed Anthony and we put it in motion…

Everything was going smoothly until I went to open the front door of the building… I immediately saw 2 full-grown dogs inside.

Oh, no… this wasn’t going to work.

I sent Anthony inside to let them know we were there and hauled my 100 pound pooch back into the car.  After a few minutes the 2 dogs were brought outside and placed in a truck. Anthony motioned that it was OK to come inside…. Once again The Beast pulled me excitedly towards the entrance.  I realized, as I almost fell on my face for the 56th time, that flip-flops were probably NOT the most intelligent choice of shoe for this excursion.

So, we finally get in… and we finally get a room… and the room is about the size of 2 of my Beasts…  The doctor rushes in and attempts to check The Beast out…  The Beast promptly spins around and shoots Projectile Dog Poop  all over the Doctor’s pant leg…. and his wall.

Doctor is not happy.

Doctor is muttering.

I am trying so hard NOT to laugh.

I hadn’t even given Beast any Ol’ Roy in over a month!!!

In the waiting room, afterwards… I noticed that I was receiving many a dirty glare from people toting little Ankle-Biter Dogs, as I desperately attempted to keep The Beast under some kind of “control”   I had a quick fantasy-vision of “Unleashing the Beast” and watching those uppity dog owners squeal in horror as they clung to their yipping rats…

So, now we’re home… Beast got a shot…. and some pain relievers… and some cream for his foot.  (The sock we provided on our own)

Ha Ha, Beast…. Ha. Ha.


6 thoughts on “The Beast Gets His…

  1. Well done. It’s so hard to train dogs to be able to punish doctors on command like that.

  2. Spectra says:

    I agree… your dog did just the right thing. Pooping on Vets is a time-honored tradition among certain breeds. All mine ever did was shake so viscerally as to leave hundreds of black dog hairs all over the metal table, reminiscent of the pine needles that fell from Charlie Browns Christmas tree. Dog Nerves. A dose of Doggy Zanax might be just the thing…every day, in the Beasts case!

  3. Going to be taking our ‘mad-little-hatter’ to the vet soon too. Unfortunately, it’s snip-snip for the little prick. Five years now I’ve been warning him I’m going to take the toenail clippers to that lil wang of his if he don’t quit sneaky-peeing and trying to ride the cats, and I’m finally following through. At least The Beast didn’t come home without his manhood. I think Hound Dog’s gonna be none too happy when we pick him up Saturday morning after staying overnight with the vet. Ha..ha..ha..ha.. Serves him right! Mom rules!!

    • Kim says:

      LOL… Beast was already snipped when we adopted him… he’d probably be pretty upset if we had them take even MORE off!

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