The All Star Rumble…


July 12, 2011 by Kim

The long-lost “Foot de Diego” was discovered yesterday.

It was stuffed behind a door.

We dusted it for paw-prints and plopped it into a glass of cold milk….

That’s what they do with teeth, right????  Stuffed Foot?  Same thing???

No?  *sigh*

I was thinking yesterday, while driving home from work, about my beloved Beast.

We hadn’t really had any issues, disturbances or disasters lately…

maybe our Beast of a puppy was growing into a responsable man-Beast.

Maybe life was going to regain a sense of calm.

Or maybe I was a fool.

Damn you Beast.

My momma had chosen to come over and spend some time with the kids… and the Beast

as I walked in the back door, after work, I saw her sitting, exhausted, at our kitchen table

almost lethargic.

I heard The Beast thumping around in his crate as I walked up to greet her…

“Those boys can really wear you out, hu…..”


“He got me” was all she could manage to whisper.

I took it all in… the scratches on her face, the bruises on her arm, the leaves and dirt woven into her clothing and hair.


The Beast kicked Nana’s ass!!!

I whipped my head over to the crate and glared at Beast.

My mom then told me that it wasn’t his fault…. she had taken Beast outside to go potty, the neighbor dogs started barking and Beast lost his ever-loving mind. *or maybe he just disliked her use of the term “potty”*

He jerked twice… she lost her footing and pretty much fell all over the backyard.

Everywhere…. She says she doesn’t remember anything from the moment she began to fall to waking up on the couch.  So, in my mind, she fell and rolled all over the entire backyard, breaking her glasses and collecting leaves.

She still seemed shaken when she left my house to go home…but, she insisted that she was OK to drive and I guess she was because she made it safely home.

and that was the last I really thought about it… I mean, scratches fade, clothes can be washed and she swears it wasn’t Beasts fault…

so, yeah.

Fast forward to today’s drive home from work…  My phone is ringing and I see that it’s Momma…  She was calling to inform me that her arm was broken.

The Beast broke her freaking arm!!!

w.t.f, Beast…. really?

I offered to break one of Beast’s legs when I got home, to make it even…. but, being the “better person” that she always is… she declined and once again told me that it was NOT The Beast’s fault.

I have to get him back, somehow, though…. I mean, come on… that’s my MOM, man!!!

You can turn my world upside-down…. but you don’t EVER mess with my Momma!!!

It’s on Beast!!!

…like Donkey Kong, even


8 thoughts on “The All Star Rumble…

  1. JT says:

    Funny….disturbing, but funny. I like funny , I don’t know maybe that’s disturbing :-). Thank you for liking my Blog.

  2. Spectra says:

    You come out fightin’ fo’ yo’ Momma – the right spot…but you gotta love the Beast. I find myself remaining nuetral in this ongoing Saga.

  3. […] Perhaps it happened during his Death Match with Granny […]

  4. […] What’s that? You say that you aren’t familiar with The Beast and my Mom’s Extreme Throw Down Death Match […]

  5. OMG! Edie pulled my MIL off the porch, luckily she landed the leap in high heels, but I’d imagine her feet hurt after. Broken arm…sheesh.

    • Kim says:

      I know, right… I’m never gonna live this one down either. Every time she wants something, all she has to do is pull the “Remember that one time when your dog broke my arm?” card… *sigh”

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