I Can’t Compare…


July 3, 2011 by Kim

Hubs has been effortlessly successful in making sure that he is Dickie’s favorite for the last 6.5 years.

and it’s not due to my lack of trying…. trust me on that.

I think I’m a pretty darn good Momma… I shower him with affection, buy him things that I think would make him smile, doctor him up when he’s hurt… he’s the little Fuji Apple of my eye.  I love that kid.

But, Dad’s the man… and I don’t even come close.

Dickie doesn’t even make an attempt to conceal his favoritism. 

For example, I could give Dickie a Capri-Sun in the morning…. I might get a thank you and a half-assed hug, with his left arm.   Hubs could give him a Capri-Sun that same afternoon and Dickie would hold the sacred juice pouch high above his head, flinging himself throughout the house singing joyous songs declaring his Dad to be the BEST DAD EVER… all while teasing the older boys with the fact that he has a juice pouch and they have… zero juice pouches.  He MIGHT even offer to share the beloved Capri-Sun with Hubs and Dickie does NOT share.  After he finishes the drink he will probably stash the empty pouch away somewhere in his room, where he is building a shrine to all things Dad.

It’s disgusting.

If Hubs feels like tormenting me, he will use Dickie as his vessel.  Case in point… If Hubs and I are being goofy and wrestling around, it’s only a matter of time before Hubs shouts out for Dickie’s assistance.  Under Hub’s direction Dickie will administer wet willys, indian burns, and (as of late) threatening to pour Hub’s beer over my head. *sigh*

As of yesterday, it’s officially Game Over.

I’m done…

I have come to realize that Hubs “awesomeness” is something I will never be able to come close to…

That freakin asshole built Dickie a Super-Cool Mega-Bad-Ass Tent, complete with an airmattress to sleep on.

I attempted to help in the early stages, but was quickly ushered out of the room as Hubs worked his superior tent making skills.

I stood outside the room with a single fat tear rolling down my right cheek and The Beast gnawing at my left foot.

I’ll never compare. 

When the Super-Cool Mega-Bad-Ass Tent was completed I was allowed back inside the room.  I took a look inside Hub’s creation and felt a pang of jealousy.  For a split second I wished that I could sleep in there.  It truly was both Mega and Bad-Ass…

and then for the first time my jealousy lifted and I saw My Hubs through Dickie’s eyes…




4 thoughts on “I Can’t Compare…

  1. You’re trying to hard to win him over by increasing the amount he likes you when you should be concentrating on getting him to like your husband less. Every time my wife tells my kids to go to bed I whisper, “I begged her to let you stay up later, but she wants you to be unhappy.”

  2. Ohh… Good tip by Greatsby.

    Come to think of it, my husband often states when punishing my son, “Because your mother said so.”

    As the stay at home parent, I will never measure up. I actually have to be consistent and stern to reign in any semblance of order.

    Which Daddy destroys with lack of follow through.

    When do all of those hours of incubation, sleepless nights, and nursing pain come into play for my awesomeness???

    Perhaps we should just flee to Canada.

  3. Chas Rairden says:

    Ya know what ???? Yer “Hubs” is a Super-Cool Mega-Bad-Ass … Dad!

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