Seek and Destroy…

10

July 2, 2011 by Kim


Dear Beast,

I could sit here and play nice and ask you how your day was going and if you slept OK last night, but I think I’m going to cut straight to the chase.

You suck.

I let it slide when you demolished Spongebob Squarepants… I managed to look the other way when you consumed Diego’s feet…. I merely cussed you out and banished you to your cage when you gutted Patrick and offed 1-Antler Reindeer… But this has REALLY got to stop.

What, pray tell, did the Hulk ever do to you?!?!   and, while I’m thinking about it, what IS it with you and the left foot? Is there a little collection stashed away somewhere of your victim’s left feet.  Can you give me a heads up, because that is something I’d REALLY rather not stumble upon.

Beast, I will not turn a blind eye to your vicious attacks anymore… These senseless act of violence can NOT go on!  Dickie loved each and every one of these poor souls.  Is it Dickie?  Is this your way of getting to him?  Are you trying to hurt him by hurting the ones he loves?  Should I send some kind of warning to Justin Bieber???

This morning, I awoke and had to clean up a mixture of Beast puke mixed with action figure limbs.  Have you hit rock bottom yet? I really think you need help, but only you can take that first step.  You have to want it, Beast.

In closing, I would just like to say that I love you, Beast… but you really kind of suck right now!

 

-Kim

 

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10 thoughts on “Seek and Destroy…

  1. I’m dying…

    I am also reminded why I have two cats, and not a dog. All I have to do is be vigilant that grocery store balloons are placed out of the house before the helium dissipates so they can’t eat the oh-tasty ribbon at the bottom.. then puke it up.

    So I’m no help.

    • Kim says:

      LOL… I don’t even know what to do at this point. We’re all living in fear of the next attack. I’m getting really tired of picking up moist fluff. ugh

  2. Spectra says:

    This is, once again, histerical ;0 Gave me a laff. He does seem to have it out for someone…why doesnt he just pick on something his own size, like furniture, for gossakes!

  3. halfcnote says:

    I’m loving it! We had a dachshund/lab mix who used to eat any and all toys. I lost a collectable Tarzan figure that gave the famous yell to her jaws – we heard his last call after she had taken off both arms and a leg, the left one I do believe! Maybe there’s a secret society.

  4. Was dying at work- sooo funny! I have a puppy at home who likes to rip her toys apart- moist fluff truly sucks!

  5. Beth - Realist Mom says:

    OMG – are sure that’s not my puppy over there? That little pooper has eaten ALL of my flip flops, 9 books, 2 shinguards and whatever else he can get his teeth on. He is SO lucky he’s cute. And let’s not even get into the 5:30am wake ups…

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