June 5, 2011 by Kim
As of tonight, I have a new mission in life.
I need to create a pair of stylish jeans, sporting pockets that extend down to the knees.
Why such massive pockets, you ask?
I have a little issue.
Ridiculous Tiny Pockets.
Almost every pair of jeans I wear, seem to have miniscule little teeny pockets.
I have to really make an attempt to “pack smart” whenever I plan to leave the house.
For the most part, I hate carrying a purse.
So, everything of importance, gets shoved into 1 of 4 pockets.
Now, this wouldn’t usually be the cause of any concern… however it seems that pockets these days are about 1 inch depth-wise…. at best.
I mean, what is going on!!!
I can get the basics crammed into the pockets before we leave the house…
but the true test is when it’s bathroom time.
As soon as my bare ass hits that toilet seat, EVERYTHING that is contained in a pocket…. makes a break for it.
My cell phone rockets towards the floor and shimmies into the next stall…
My 20 dollar bill, that has been carefully folded up at least 17 times, floats like a butterfly…
My debit card cartwheels violently about the stall…
… and I’m just trying to pee
So, tonight… as I balanced my booty on the toilet seat
both hands covering a mini-pocket
…cell phone clenched firmly in between my teeth
I decided it’s time for a change.
Let’s take back our pockets, America!!!
… or maybe I should just start carrying a purse