What works….

3

May 23, 2011 by Kim


From the moment I first laid eyes on him, I knew that Dickie was going to be special.

and I’m not just talking about the typical “my kid’s rad” type of special.

There is just something about that little guy.

I have yet to meet anyone who wasn’t taken by him.

If you’re within 5 feet of Dickie… you’re under his spell.

Yesterday, I realized that I may truly be in over my head with this child.

You see… when you have more than one kid, you quickly learn the ropes of what works

and what doesn’t.

There are certain tricks that stand the test of time…. they will never fail you.

With my kids… threatening to “whoop some ass”… works

the toy box overhaul, a week before Christmas, because Santa won’t bring you toys if you already have too many…. works

the warning, given during car trips, that if mommy doesn’t have absolute silence on the road while driving we will undoubtably crash into a wall… works

the behind the scenes, late night, disposal of the multitude of paperwork and projects, returning home from the classroom… works

correction.

Worked.

The code had never been broken on this ingenious way to rid the household of the mounds of papers that find their way home every day.

I would simply wait until the boys went to sleep…. take their daily stash of returned schoolwork …. and chuck it into the furthest depths of the kitchen trash

I would usually try to manuever the papers underneath something… just in case.

Maybe I’ve gotten lazy in my old age…. not quite waiting until bedtime.

…full attention was not being paid to the final location of the discarded work.

Or maybe Dickie is just a force to be reckoned with…

It all started with a few innocent papers.

I had discarded them early, after dinner…

As bedtime approached, Dickie confronted me… papers in hand.

“Me made you flower”  “See me flower?”

“Flower pretty, Mom”

I went into backup mode and tried explaining that we couldn’t possibly keep everything he brought home… but I would keep a few “special” things…

He did not attempt to hide his irritation with me and reminded me, again, that the flower was created specially for me.

I promised to keep the flower… and raved over how beautiful it was… and sang praises of what an amazing artist he was…

and told him that he would still have to throw away the other 2 papers.

I thought it worked.

until, today, when I found the newest zombie classwork… back from the dead

“Mom, you no like me chicken?” “Me color chicken for you, Mom”

“See little book me made, Mom”  “Little book cool”

*sigh*

As I wandered over to the computer desk I caught a glimpse of awe-inspiring flower picture, resting next to the keyboard

Flanked on both sides by it buddies… the rest of the schoolwork from that day.

I’m really starting to get a feeling that I am not going to win with this child…

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3 thoughts on “What works….

  1. For zombie paperwork, I’m told to aim for the head. It always works.

  2. Krystal says:

    yeah I tried to peddle the pictures my little cousins had “colored” for me back to them (and their moms haha). Like “wow! this is neat! you should keep it or give it to mommy!”

    p.s. so did you ever find out what snuck into your son’s backpack?

  3. Maybe he isn’t playing enough video games. #5 was like this until we sucked out his brain by buying a Wii. I still have to bag the trash up and tie and and take it to the outside can, but at least he isn’t going through the bags anymore.

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