All the things that suck…


May 19, 2011 by Kim

I’m fearful of a lot of things…. Some, slightly more ridiculous than others.

I have fears that are more of the “norm” Death, heights, furry spiders, failure… But then I also have fears that I completely realize, are absurd.

When I was in elementary school it was worse.

Way worse.

I was afraid of alien abductions though most of my childhood. I most definitely did NOT want to ever be abducted by any kind of extra-terrestrial. …even if they were claiming to “come in peace”

Bull-shit… I’ve seen the movies.

 I was afraid of getting ripped limb from limb by rabid dogs…

I was afraid of bald eagles crashing thru my bedroom window, while I slept and pecking me to death

Or ripping… or clawing Or whatever they do.

It would have sucked, and I knew that.

I was afraid of bad guys hiding in my room… I had a consistent bedtime routine that would help ease my fears enough at sleep so that I could, at some point, fall asleep.

The routine consisted of going in my room and shutting the door securely behind me…. If you’re in there, bad guys, there’s no getting out now!

Then I would go into my closet and look up, down and move all my clothes around…. The last thing I wanted to do was to NOT look up and fail to see the bad guy spread eagle, by the ceiling, limbs pressed against the wall.

Then I would look under my bed…. That was always hard for me. My bed sets always had the “skirt” so I’d have to slowly lift the skirt up and peer underneath… I always assumed that at some point I’d be face to face with my arch-enemy, the bad guy. Not good times.

Once I was sure the hiding spots were secured, I’d begin the Arranging of the Pillows.

This, in itself, was probably the most tedious task of the entire routine.

I would place the pillows on the outside of the bed, overlapping them into a certain pattern that I was convinced no bad guy, hiding under the bed, would be able to snake his arm thru.

A bible would then be placed under my pillow and with one hand touching it at all times I would stare out into the shadows until the exhaustion of the day won over.


Thanks to Child’s Play I was scared of dolls and stuffed animals… and I had a LOT of dolls and stuffed animals. I would lock them in my closet each and every night.

There was a marionette that struck extra terror thru my young body. I wanted so badly to throw that thing away…. But I knew, in my wise pre-junior high brain that if I dared turn it to the trash… he would return.

And annihilate me.

And that, too… would have sucked.


2 thoughts on “All the things that suck…

  1. Those all seem like legitimate fears… Except the eagles. Eagles are my favorite.

  2. When I was in elementary school (in the 70’s) I had an irrational fear of KISS (the band). If the doorbell ever rang after I was in bed I was sure that it was them, coming to take me away.

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