May 17, 2011 by Kim
This morning was the stuff that dreams are made of.
That is… if the dream in question is being pleasantly thought of by my worst fricken enemy.
Another word for…
I guess NIGHTMARE would suffice.
So everything’s loddy-doddy peachy keen this morning.
Kids get ready for school with only minor interventions by yours truly.
Dickie is not finding himself under every 3rd step I take.
Somewhere.. I’m sure, a bird is gayfully chirp chirp chirping.
It’s funny how such a seemingly normal…even HAPPY day can turn so quickly.
It all began with a jacket.
A somewhat expensive jacket.
A somewhat expensive jacket that I had warned and made threats about in the case of its being misplaced.
This somewhat expensive jacket that I had warned and made threats about in the case of its being misplaced has been declared… LOST.
Severely.. utterly… misplaced
I won’t name names… but Daniel got quite the evil eye from me as I ushered him out the door….
Attempting to relax after the 3rd 4th and 5th degrees had been given out, I sank into the couch next to Anthony and watched a bit of cartoons.
About 10 minutes later as I was taking Anthony to school, I noticed that the crossing guard in front of Daniel’s school had already gone back into the building and, of freaking course, Daniel was still on our side of the…. freeway.
So, inciting my rage from minutes ago, I swooped in and picked him up… depositing him in the front of his school. As I attempted to drive to Anthony’s school I noticed an adult headed my way….
Oh.. what the hell….
I unrolled my window and she, very politely, informed me that seeing as my child was late… I was going to have to go into the school and sign him in…
Glancing at my Family Guy pajama pants, I asked her if I could come back in a little while. She shook her head and said that I needed to sign him in now.. seeing that he was tard-EE.
But… but… bu.. I’m in my pajamas, I whispered…
She just shook her head and told me to go park….
I swear at that point… I felt my eyes welling up with tears.
I gave up and slide into a nearby spot.
At 8:00 I entered my son’s middle school wearing a huge Stealaho T-shirt, over-sized Family Guy pajama pants with pictures of Stewie all over them and the phrase “Born to be Bad” ….. Hair that was somewhat pulled into a crappy ponytail and ab-so-lute-ly NO make-up… including ZERO hints of any type of an eyebrow.
Of COURSE, every other person signing their tard-EE child in looked as though they had been up for hours… and were on their way to work.. at some high-powered important office… in Houston.. or something.
woe is me
I tried to get in and out as quickly as possible… but still
scarred for life
When I got to Anthony’s school I KNEW that he, too, was tard-EE … however, I pushed him out of the car in front of the doors and yelled
RUN TO YOUR CLASS ROOM!!!
as I zoomed away.