Let them eat Slim Jims…

2

April 25, 2011 by Kim


Nothing much can excite me the way a brightly lit 99 cent store can…

It’s the one place where I can make ridiculously asinine purchases and experience no form of buyers regret whatsoever.

and that tingle I feel when I see a shelf full of a NAME BRAND PRODUCT.

Awesome!

Last night’s trip found me wandering to the check out line with various groceries,some produce, off-brand Biore Pore Strips, band aids and this…

Yeah… that’s right… I got that baby for NINETY-NINE CENTS!

Somewhere in my travels throughout the store I picked up a little box of Slim Jims…

proclaiming 4 meat sticks per box.

Good deal I thought as I tossed them in the cart.

….if I ONLY knew!!!

So fast forward to today… I take my box o’ Slim Jim goodness to the place of employment so that I may enjoy a greasy snack in the early afternoon… just about the time when my Sugar Free Monster begins to wear off…

2 o’clock comes and my tummy growls angrily.

My tummy can be a Bitch and I know very well NOT to ignore her… or her impulses

and she was fully aware of the treat in my bag.

oh, crap… this story just totally got side tracked by a…

!!!REAL TIME EVENT!!!! 

So, Dickie just comes out of the bathroom in a familiar way…

pants around his knees and a wad of toilet paper in his fist.

it is an all too familiar scene to me and I prepared for him to ask me to “wipe his butt”

and I also prepared to tell him to “wipe his own butt”

but, no… that is not what he wanted

at all.

D. “Momma, help”

Me. “What do you need Dickie” *trying not to make eye contact *

D. “Me poop stuck”

Me. “What??? Your poop’s stuck where?” *visions of overflowing toilets where quickly flooding my head*

D. “Poop stuck in me butt.. get poop out please”

Oh heavens..

*sigh*

so, anyways… back to my box of Slim Jims…

I carefully opened the little cardboard box and extracted my first treat…

it was gone in a flash so I decided to have another…

after devouring the second Slim Jim I noticed there were 3 more left in the box…

I stared at the front of the box where it boasted 4 Slim Jims…

Let’s see… I had already eaten 2…. and there were still 3 nestled in there for me to enjoy.

Something’s amiss…

So, thank you makers of the Slim Jim…. thank you for a little ray of sunshine during my working hours.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Let them eat Slim Jims…

  1. And I appreciate the charity offered from the extra one!

  2. The Hook says:

    Don’t tell me you’re a Dollar Store Junkie! I’ve had a part-time job at one for years, and while they have some great buys, they’re actually a cover ofr the Fifth Level of Hell!

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