The straw that almost broke me…


April 15, 2011 by Kim

I’ve only been awake for a handful of hours… but this morning is already proving to be somewhat interesting.

Today is me wonderous Friday OFF … and apparently “talk like a pirate on the second line of your blog day”  *ARGGGGGG*

Yeah, I’m leaving that typo cause it made me giggle when I noticed it.

So, because no alcohol of any kind entered my body last night, I woke up at a decent hour…

whoaaaaaa, oly moley… the dog has some retched gas!!!!! Jesus, help me…

anyway… I woke up at a decent hour and was able to be a willing participant in the kids getting ready for school.

A cheerful willing participant.

So when Dickie brought me his juice box straw, proclaiming that he was unable to get the straw out of the wrapper… I happily agreed to assist him.  Easy job for me and he’ll think I’m a super hero!

It took me a good 3 minutes to release that damned straw from its plastic prison!!!

At one point Dickie, who was standing next to me watching in horror, began to do a voice-over for the straw…

*screechy high-pitched voice* 

“Noooooo… me no want out!   Me stay in here!!!!”

Anthony, my 10-year-old, offered to help at one point… I refused…. and I think cussed him under my breath.

Black out time was coming quick


Finally the straw slid from the plastic

*trumpet blast*

…about 15 minutes later Dickie was nearing meltdown stage 2 over the fact that I wouldn’t let him walk to school with his brother.

I told him to quit crying and reminded him that DADDY was the one who didn’t want him walking to school with Anthony and that it was all DADDY’S fault and there was nothing I coud do about it, but MOMMY was so so soooooo sorry that DADDY was such a horrible mean ogre!

Meltdown avoided.

He finished up getting ready, while mumbling “Me no walk school with boy… me want new home..”

*he’s called Anthony “boy” for as long as I can remember*

So,  feeling bad for my little sad munchkin, I did the unthinkable.

I agreed to walk him to school…


“Me happy!  Me love you all time mom!  Kiss?”



2 thoughts on “The straw that almost broke me…

  1. Jeff Silvey says:

    “Noooooo… me no want out! Me stay in here!!!!” LOL, too funny. Those straws can be killer sometimes.

  2. The straw that broke the camel’s back actually turned out to be a straw.

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