Liar, Liar… Pants on Fire!


April 10, 2011 by Kim

Apparently my little Pontiac G6 likes to ingest large amounts of crack while the hubs and I are snuggled up warm and cozy in our bed at night.

I woke up yesterday morning, to go to work, fully aware that my car was inching very close to being in desperate need of some gas.  Being that it was 6AM I crossed my fingers and said a quick prayer that I could wait until AFTER work… when it was warmer.  Sliding into the car I glanced at the dash which stated that I still had about 64 miles to empty.  Well, hecks ya!  That would be PLENTY o’ gas to make it to the afternoon.  So I begin my little 13 mile drive to work.  I peered down at the fuel gauge, less than a mile into my travels and saw that I now only had 42 miles to E.   w.t…. yeah

Whatevs, still can totally make it at this point… I mean, it’s not like the G6 is LYING to me… right? 


Turns out the G6 is a dirty, disgusting, crack-abusing LIAR!

I can’t even look at “him” the same today….  *shame*

Somehow, within the first mile of my travel to the place of employment… G6 wanted to pretend that it had somehow guzzled thru 64 miles worth of gas.  Leaving me with a glaring red “LOW” staring back at me from the dash. 

Low…. really?  Thanks G6, I now know exactly how much further I can go.   *sigh*

So.. anywhos, I make it to the little gas station by work and slide next to one of the pumps.  Looking over I see a sheet of notebook paper declaring that all pumps are ONLY dispensing “Premium”  at this time.  Wow… awesome. 

and to add insult to injury, I’m also significantly low on funds at this time… I am fully aware that a simple swipe of the card ain’t gonna cut it.


So I go inside the gas station… grab a water and get into line.  When it’s my turn at the cash register I place my purchase on the counter and inform Apu that I’m also going to need $20 on number 4.  He tells me 2 different times that Premium is my only option… Both times I explain that the car is on “E” and I really don’t give a damn.  He finally deems me worthy for a gasoline purchase and then spends the next 3 minutes verifying that I have indeed parked at Pump 4.  Nevermind the angry mob lined up behind me, Apu… life is peachy.

 I finally manage to escape the store and pump my 20 dollars into my crackhead car… all 4 gallons of it.



One thought on “Liar, Liar… Pants on Fire!

  1. oldancestor says:

    You should have bought a female car. She’d be a lot more truthful about the size of her tank.

    Of course, she’ll never let you forget the time you parked under a tree full of birds. She’ll bring it up years later, out of the blue. You’ll be cruising along the interstate, engine purring, radio on. Then she’ll hear some seemingly innocuous lyric and suddenly it’s, “I can’t believe you’d do that to me! I needed two trips through the car wash to get the bird s*** off! Do you know how humiliating that was?”

    Then you realize she just needs an oil change.

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